A WINNER IZ U - Yep, this happened

Sometimes I need a whole diatribe to get across a point, sometimes I just need a single quote.

Top 5 - 2011 Retrospective

Its that time of year again... here's my pick for the Top 5 wargaming products for 2011 (as well as long-winded retrospective).

Review: Dust Tactics

So, long time... No see.  Today I'd like to quickly touch base with a review of a new game I've been playing a bit: Dust: Tactics.  Its unique in that its a board game that mimics a wargame reasonably well.  Its a neat combination and a welcome change of pace for me (especially after the myriad of skirmish games I've played this year).

Pardon my dust....

Back from a long break; hope y'all didn't miss me too much.

More lulztastic posting starting tomorrow. Teh. Lulz.

ZOMG! - Space Marine Vidjagame

Linky!

You actually curb-stomp an Ork; God, I hope that was in the design brief.

Despite all the recent GW shenanigans, this game looks pretty awesome.

Monday Game Reviews - Battletech

Few wargames have lasted as long as Battletech, which is currently celebrating its 25th anniversary.  While not as well known in the states as Warhammer 40,000, its one of the longest running science-fiction IPs based on a wargame with several successful video games, an animated series, hundreds of novels, and countless source books to its name.  To quote a comedian from the same vintage as BT: "What's the deal with that?"

"They've got thirty foot robots, but don't have iPhones.  Its like going to a Monster Truck rally, but in space."

What's it all about?

Battletech is a game about warfare in the 31st and 32nd centuries, set in a universe where 30 ft bipedal robotic suits are the current kings of the battlefield.  I'd go into the back story, but its extremely, extremely thick and loaded with setting specific jargon.   Suffice to say, there's a ~30 page booklet that comes with the 25th anniversary box that details, in barest detail, the background of Battletech's IP.  In single-spaced, 8 point font.  If you're someone that likes an immersive setting, this is a game that's up your alley.

Mechanically, its a game that utilizes ~15mm scale miniatures on a hex-grid (that's right, you're playing on a board, not a table).  You're typically moving around 8-12 models, most of which are battle mechs (the big robots).  While the game's model count is low, the record keeping system is extremely detailed and belies a system that's attempting to be more simulatory than "gamey".

To that end, the core mechanic of shooting/moving is very basic, but with modifiers akimbo based upon terrain (broadly defined on the board) and mech position.  That said, less effort is placed on complicated mechanics for rolling dice (almost everything is 2D6 + stat +/- modifier based) and a strong emphasis is placed on tactical positioning and ammo/heat conservation (mech's build heat for moving/firing energy weapons).

Interestingly, the core game is somewhat "gamey" and constitutes Catalyst Lab's tournament ruleset.  There's a large list of "advanced" rules that are advised against for tournament play, but allow massive modification of the core game, including but not limited to: interstellar warfare, battle mech customization, "ace" mechwarrior rules, etc etc etc.

Lastly, the game requires each player have several mechs, a hex board to play on, and some core rules.  The 25th anniversary boxset, the large "Total Warfare" (which contains all the standard rules), and the first technical manual (3050) will let players play with a large amount of replay via switching mechs, scenarios, etc.  This set-up runs for almost exactly $100.

The Good

Wolf Clan: "We're 'good guys' but didn't have the budget for a logo.  Here's some clip art."

Battletech is an affordable game with a unique science-fiction setting that attempts to mimic some realities of modern warfare.  Its main attraction is mech vs mech combat and all the detailed record keeping that takes place (as strange as that sounds).  There's something very charming about hitting an opponent's left arm and seeing the armour damage, then system damage, etc etc.

For fans of the Mechwarrior video games, the tabletop game is almost identical to the electronic version (at least the Mechwarrior 2 and 3 video games).  While doing some of the crazier things people did in the video games (e.g. - loading up a light mech with PPCs, firing with knowledge that you'd overheat but with a nigh guarantee of killing a heavy mech) still works on the table.  If you dig the video games, you'll probably dig the table incarnation.

Oddly, there's a lot in Battletech that was lovingly borrowed by Warmachine (Matt Wilson was an artist at FASA [creator of Battletech], so this isn't too surprising).  Mech's get damaged in grids, like warjacks.  Underlying systems get damaged, similar to the "system" boxes in warmachine.  Battlemechs are kings of the battlefield (just as warjacks are nominally in Warmachine; Battletech stays truer to this in the game).  The system is 2D6 + stat +/- modifiers in a very similar manner to Warmachine (Warmachine involves defensive statistics whereas Battletech focuses on modifiers).

If you like warjacks in Warmachine, but wish their interactions were more involved, Battletech might be worth a look.

The Bad

Jade Falcon Clan: "We're 'bad guys' and hence have a graphic design budget"

Battletech has a very detailed setting, but man, is it tough to crack into it.  This is not a game that's easy to pick-up, grab some miniatures, and play.  Catalyst Labs (current IP holders) have gotten much better about this (both the 25th Anniversary Box Set and recent "Starter Books" have greatly helped), but its still very difficult to figure who can use what mechs and when.

Likewise, this is a game that wants to move in two different directions, which can difficult for a starting group.  Players are expected to know the extensive background (and buy the multitude of books to learn about it) so they can play "appropriate" mech groups (called Stars/Lances, depending on engagement size).  If you want a straight simulation, this is relatively easy.  Pick an era, buy the source book, pick a faction, buy mechs, and you're good to go.

Tournament play, on the other hand, is significantly harder to achieve due to the disparity between mech and non-mech units (despite an allegedly unifying "battle value" point system).  My advice would be to steal from the larger (e.g. - Gencon) tournament packs, but that requires selecting battle groups from a selection of "balanced rosters" (that's right, major tournaments force you to pick a designated battle group).  As such, if you have a favorite mech, but it isn't in one of the groups (or the tech level you like isn't represented), then tough cookies.

Lastly, the Battletech models leave something to be desired.  A lot of this is due to the very old sculpts in place and the low profile the game kept for a long period.  The new plastic mechs in the 25th anniversary box and a large improvement; however, don't expect Rackham or GW quality miniatures.

Final Thoughts

As the kids would say "PEW PEW!", and such.

Battletech is making some massive improvements due to Catalyst Labs taking over the product (its time with FanPro and Wizkids was rough).  Its nice to see a mature IP gain market share through intelligent management, fan engagement, and cross promotion of its IP via video games, etc etc.  The 25th anniversary box is a great bargain and a great to start looking if you're got any curiosity about the system.  For more info, check out Catalyst Labs Battletech Page. 

A Winner is You!: GW Fineco$t

Sometimes, pictures are worth a thousand words.  So, to save myself all that typing, please see exhibit A:

Finecast plastic material + sunlight = lulz to the max

I'm really, really, REALLY reconsidering playing GW games. Factoring in concerns about a game going too long and my models literally melting due to a high room temperature (time to donate an extra AC to the LGS) with all the other new costs tossed on to the playerbase by GW, this just sucks.

I really wish I could say "Well, its janky the customer got stuck with the R&D cost of Finecast, but they do hold detail better than metal and the new material's easier to work with", but I can't.  This is a problematic material, covered in flash, a higher percentage of miscasts than metal (from samples I've seen), at a 20% cost reduction using a price-stable material (source: GW investor relations page) to GW, all with a 5-25% price increase.

On a game you just increased the size of 33%.

Oh, and no more previews of upcoming material.  Ever.

Continuing coverage Monday of non-GW/PP game systems (Love PP, but there's ample Warmahordes starter info out there).  Normally I end this with a cheeky reference my blog's name, but um... Kirby/Wells might, in fact, want to consider quitting their day jobs.  For realz.

GW: Globalization and Wargaming (hey, that could an acroynym...)

First off: I'm back, sort-of.  Work's been insanely crunched and I've been dealing with some health issues (tore something in my arm playing bass at a show; nothing says "Rock'n'roll" like your arm going numb in the middle of a song).

That said: There's been some interesting developments in the wargaming world since my last post, the juicest of which have come from Games Workshop.  Here's a quick summary:

- Games Workshop asks online retailers in the EU to stop shipping to non-EU customers.

- Games Workshop announces their transition from metal to resin (and a subsequent price increase).

- Games Workshop announces annual price increase.

- Games Workshop allegedly is only going to announcements of new models one weel in advance (not clear if this is one-week in advance of pre-orders or product release).

(all rumors from Dakkadakka.com)

It'd be really easy to go a rant about how terrible GW is etc etc etc.  As someone who's only marginally invested in their games, its hard to get emotional to the point of irrationality.   For me, looking at these new prices and the price trends, the "fun-to-dollar" ratio is such that I'm going to stop buying new models.  That said, this isn't an article about that.

The first bit of information is what really interests me, because I think its quickly going to become a "teachable moment" to other waragaming companies with regard to globalization/non-local markets.

Like a lot of companie, GW is still learning how to do business in a "globalized" world.  They've certainly taken advantage of many of globalization's perks: easy access to low wage labor (they print products in China), low tariffs, and access to a wide number of markets.   Suffice to say: the above have all been "pluses" to GW.

Woo Hoo!

However, much like many other companies, GW is getting stung by globalization as well.  GW-the-manufacturer has to contend with other companies copying their designs and recasting using lower cost (i.e. - lower Asian) labor sans R&D overhead.  Largely, this hasn't been a big issue.  GW-the-retailer has to contend competition via the internet, where consumers have access to markets where prices are lower than they are locally (due to taxes, quicker access to exchange-rate differences, lack of store front overhead, or a combination of the above).  This, clearly, is hurting GWs retail operations in some locales (Australia/New Zealand notably).

D'oh

Which brings us to Monday's announcement.  Unsurprisingly, the reaction from many AU GW consumers has been negative (they're being asked to absorb a ~60% increase in price due to GWs price structure).  To me, this was a poor PR decision for a myriad of reasons:

- Consumers don't generally like price increases on the magnitude of >50%.  Add to this the state of the global economy and GWs good being luxury items; not a great place to be.

- GW feels very comfortable adjusting prices every 6 months to offset their own costs.  They've been very resistent to readjusting exchange rates, particularly when it doesn't favor them (e.g. - in this instance).  That's a morally bankrupt position to take and consumers are going to have a strong negative reaction to their brand.

- Compounding the above is intellectually bankrupt position that GW should be allowed to reap all the benefits of globalization but its consumers shouldn't.

I don't the above is going to cause the downfall of GW (it most certainly won't).  However, I do think its going to be a boon to GW's competitors in the Australian market and cause GW to reevaluate their price structure in the region (I can imagine the resulting sales drop coupled with their data on consumption pre-"embargo" will let them know where to place prices).

I also think its going to signal more frequent price "reallignments" in non-US/non-EU countries by a number of manufacturers.  Its clear consumers are savvy enough to naviagate large exchange-rate discrepencies; why give them a reason to take the extra effort to?

It'll be interesting to see where this issue is at (and where the AU community is at) in 6 months to a 1 year.

Pardon the Interuption....

Sorry for the radio silence this week; work's been off the proverbial chain.

More lulz coming next week.

Dear Fox News/Donald Trump/Birthers/Wing Nuts...

Posting for prosperity.  Proud that we got him; I just hope we can keep the boys we have over the safe in the coming months.

WARMAHORDES: To Tier or Not To Tier...

I initially promised myself I'd stay away from becoming a Warmachine/Hordes (henceforth:Warmahordes) content provider, but.. well, I can't help myself.   I had some questions at a tournament last weekend about Tier lists and whether or not they were competitive/broken/OMGBBQBorken.   The answer is no, yes, and YES... which probably needs some explanation.

First thing's first: Some bona fides.  I'm part of a group who consistently places in the top 3 of local team tournaments (sharing the honor with the NJ SOBs and PA's "Pants-off-Dance-off" squad).  I consistently place in the top 2 (along with my roommate/regular opponent Jarred Robaitille) in local tournaments.  I don't have a Templecon/GenCon/Warmachine Weekend win under my belt, but frankly, bar Templecon, I don't have the interest in outlaying $1000+ to travel to play Warmahordes.

Suffice to say, feel free to argue with anything I put forth, but a "STFU noob; L2P" response isn't going to hold much water.

Hey look, its the BoLS comment section...

(Side note: God, I hate internetz bona fide posturing, because it was feels like a limp attempt at I R BEST chest thumping.  The best way to communicate is on the table, which loses a lot here.  What I'm getting at is: if you're local and want to discuss this, please hit me up on the tabletop and not via the tubez).

Anyhow, back to the meat of the matter...

When Tier list were first dropped ~2 years ago via the Retribution book, I was reasonably dismissive from a competitive stand-point.  Sure, you could do some rude things with Rahn and Garyth, but they were 2D builds that suffered severely from bad match-ups.

As I got more table time with and against Tier lists (and as more were released), my opinion quickly changed.  Mostly because the game shifted from 35 to 50 pts as a standard size as more of Mk II was released and mostly because people were getting the hang of the new mechanics/the local metagame started settling in.

That said, not all Tier lists are over-the-top or, for that matter, especially good.  Some are pretty good and some are downright terrifying.  With 100+ warcasters/warlocks (and the advent of additional Tiers being released via No Quarter), its going to be tough to field test every single list and stress test them with authority.  So, how do you know where to look for signs of an extremely powerful tier list?  Let's take a look at some tier lists that are known to be quite powerful:

eButcher Tier list
eKreoss Tier list
Rahn Tier list
Terminus Tier list
pHoarluk Tier list

What's the unifying thread?  Well, the first three lists allow for FA:U of some powerful specialist troops who normally have a low FA.  All three of these lists also act as force-multipliers for these specialist troops (e.g. - eButcher grants his Doom Reavers extra movement via the feat, eKreoss ensures his melee troops will hit and grants them extra attacks, and Rahn's feat is the bee's knee's for Battle Mages).

The latest internet sensation: LOLRahns

The two of these three lists also help with movement, as does Terminus' list.  Any bonus that grants either Advanced Movement, additional inches of deployment, a SPD bonus on turn 1 (especially for melee troops) or Advanced Deployment for a portion of your army is going to be powerful.  While Terminus lacks the ability to spam a powerful troops type, he does grant his horde of pirates additional speed and Incorporeal the first turn, ensuring that they'll be delivered to the enemy lines while Big T moves in for the kill (or positions to win via scenario).

You're probably wondering about the last list (Hoarluk Tier 4).  This list (along with the eButcher list) grants a reduced cost of a specialist troop.  Moreover, said specialist troops (Runeshapers) are very, very difficult to put down and come with reasonably powerful attacks that synergize well with models included.  Having multiple, cheap units of Runeshapers knocking stuff down and putting up Force Lock against enemy heavies (and having Tough with Steady) can really put a damper on enemy forces.  Its not a list with a subtle kill condition (Mulg), but its efficient.

Ummm... again?

So where does that leave us?  It'd be easy to say "Look for spam", but I don't its as clear cut as that (look at pCaine or pFeora's Tier lists).  Look for combinations that let you:

- Take models that synergize well with the warcaster/warlock and have an expanded or unlimited FA.  A reduction in cost also helps.

- Look for positional or movement bonuses (e.g. - Ashlynn's Tier granting HER AD, the Advanced Move in the eKreoss list).

- Look for spam with a win condition.  Admittedly, a single unit of Doom Reavers is scary.  Seven units at 50 pts with eButcher is unmanageable for almost everyone (bar pHaley or extremely shooting heavy lists).  Spamming utility units without a multiplier that grants them a kill condition isn't going to cut it.

- Ensure you've got necessary support in the army.  If you're a relatively squishy melee assassin and you've feel you need Corbeau, don't mess with Tier lists (Garryth tends to suffer from this).

A special mention needs to made of Mercenary and Minion tiers.  Generally speaking, sometimes the Tier is what makes these models playable (Shae and Arkadius, I'm looking at you!).  Weigh your contract/compact bonuses against the Tier and go for whatever is stronger.  Almost without exception, I'd argue there are no over-the-top tier list in this category, though if you're playing one of these armies its something to consider.

In closing, here's a Tier 4 35 point eKreoss list I won a 10 man tournament with this weekend.  It caught a lot of people off guard and gives you an idea of just how powerful spamming a "weak" unit like Knights Exemplar can be:

eKreoss
- Fire of Salvation
Knights Exemplar
Knights Exemplar
Knights Exemplar
Knights Exemplar Errant (10)
Exemplar Vengers (3)
Errant Seneschal
Knights Exemplar Seneschal (free from Tier bonus)

Tier Bonuses - FA: U Knights Exemplar, Free Seneschal, Advanced Move for Knights Exemplar, +2" to my deployment.

As always, questions and comments are welcome.



LOLWUT? - "Zealous" 40K Commentary on BoK

This week we're skipping A Winner is You and graduating to its more intelligent cousin, LOLWUT?

Blood of Kittens posted this article today in reference to the DERF-fest over in this Bell of Lost Souls post. In brief, someone on BoLS thinks 40K players are trying to hoodwink their opponents by providing army lists sans detailed army rules.  As a counterpoint, Sandwyrm asserts if you're playing in a tournament, you should probably know armywide rules (e.g. - Shadow in the Warp for Tyranids, Descent of Angels for BA, etc) or ask your opponent if you have questions.

Then the BoLS comment section happens.  Basically this:

Ask Haight about Cygnar's Mk I to Mk II transition sometime.  This is what you get.

Here's where Blood of Kittens comes in.  His article touches on a wide breadth of subjects and is well written (I wonder if the Bad Religion picture is in reference to how much he used the thesaurus on this one), but... LOLWUT?

Here's his opener:

What though the BoLS article revealed was something I and others have tried to put our finger on. It wasn’t the WAAC player the author thinks exists to confuse new players. Instead it is a certain querulous segment of the 40k Internet population that has hoisted up the banner of all things “competitive” in a vociferous cry to change the tone about how we talk and play 40k. This change in tone is moving the cynosure of what we know about Warhammer 40k the hobby into Warhammer 40k the sport, based I might add on false gods. You can find innumerable debates about this issue in any dime store blog and forum across cyberspace. The Internet community tries to use it as a wedge, between those who consider just playing the game is enough and those that derive the most fun from having good sporting time. Enjoyment either way (in of itself) is valid, (with me more on the competitive side) but the move towards making 40k look more like a sport is fraught with problems that go beyond simple game mechanics.

The prose is a little dense, so here's what I'm getting out:

1. Internetz arguments frequently occur between "Win at all Costs" competitive types and "Fun with no Thought" fluff types.  Hyperbole occurs because, hey, its internetz.

2. Blogs like to talk about this (notably, both Blood of Kittens and myself.  Lulz.).

3. "WAAC" players are arguing 40K should be more sport-like.  I wasn't getting this from Sandwyrm (he was arguing that players who go to 40K tournaments should know some common rules before entering the tournament), but I've heard the sentiment before.

4. Blood of Kittens thinks Sportshammer is a seriose. problem.  Article ensues.

Or rather, we travel 2 paragraphs and get a second thesis.  Quoting again:

Like the American political version, our punditocracy thinks it is speaking about the true (without proven statistician analysis) motivations and concerns of the general playing public, but since the average player rarely comments our punditocracy is based on some 40k invisible hand maintained on ego fuel and the screams from the echo chamber.

So basically, bloggers are getting it wrong (much like political pundits), but people still listen.  Strange you changed topic mid-rant, but OK.. I agree.

But what, there's more lulz!

RIP Lulz, RIP...

Not only are WAAC players like pundits, they're also a type of religion (Ohhh.. so they're right-wing pundits. Gotcha!).  Two more paragraphs down, we suddenly get:

The punditocracy is also using an interesting dynamic I will call the Seal Pup Defense (religion without a hyperactive superiority complex to do “God’s Work” isn’t worth following) has recently emerged. Often we hear of the high-minded goal of making all players as good as the unproven morality dictates. It is kinda like gay people being sent to Jesus camps to become straight. The more likely truth is the punditocracy is at its best a first among equals– remember a seal pup with a club is still just a seal pup. As well the punditocracy re-educating methods are more likely just a ruse, because without the seal pups to cull they might actually be exposed for the feckless folks deep down the fear they are. So on the one hand the punditocracy protects itself from reproach while on the other hand it is able to effectively throw off any critique without worthwhile insight.

Ummm... OK?  So you think internetz 40K Tough Guys aren't really all that tough.  This is new?

We continue on this thread, but stumble back to sanity in the next paragraph:

Following the words of the punditocracy will lead you inexorably to the words competitive 40k player in one shape of form. It is no wonder that the punditocracy had to separate itself from the dreaded word WAAC it could have easily been associated with. So it created the competitive 40k player to shape its emerging religion– all religions must have a name for God’s chosen. That is what makes the words competitive 40k player so special, like a self-generated nickname the punditocracy gave itself an easily recognizable name to define itself. You never hear someone say they are a Fluffy Bunny or Hobbyist with such pride and consideration as the competitive 40k player. Instead the punditocracy divides and conquers on this axiom often drowning out voices that threaten. The punditocracy is for the most part left unchecked, with the refrain from others being, “it is only the Internet and no one listens to it anyway”. It does matter though because every time a new player walks into my local store having thrown hundreds of dollars into what the punditocracy told them was the only way to win my local community has to deal with it. I have to sit there and uneducated them not because I am against competitive players, but because the Internet gave them all the weapons to fight a war, but never trained them how to use them. Not to mention many new players realize too late they were never that player the punditocracy thought they should be.

Yes, internetz pundits are stupid.  I learned that the second I read battle college/PP's boards/an article on BoLS about Warmachine (sorry Gentle_Ben and relasine; you have great advice for new players but aren't offering us vets much).  Yes, its intellectually sexy to talk about being a winner/tactics because it scratches a nice competitive itch.  Yes, most people who do so, particularly in the 40K crowd, talk a big game with zero to back it up (oh hai, Yes the Truth Hurts!).

4Chan: A Truly Inconvenient Truth.

Honestly, who cares though?  Its fun to bust on people who get inflamed to the point of irrationality (both on the I R COMPETITIVE side and the U R NOT HOBBY BUDDY side), but I don't think either opinion is doing disservice to the game.  People are talking about wargaming, people are thinking about wargaming, and if they get bad advice, they start looking elsewhere for more august commentary (or, God forbid, think for themselves).

I was honestly gonna leave this head-scratcher of an article alone, as it has some interesting nuggets of truth mixed in with its potpourri of crazy. Then came this gem of a comment:

nyhilApril 26, 2011 /

I think there is a Graduate study in Sociology in this article somewhere…

Ummm... LOLWUT?

I R PAINTR - Updates soon!

Doing a quick before'n'after on some metal work using the alcohol based paints; unfortunately the camera's on the fritz so it'll have to wait till Thursday.

Yes, I'm sure all 2 of my reader's care.  In fact, I can see Andrew getting this post and going:

Monday Game Reviews - Dark Age, Expanded

I've had some requests for a follow-up to my review of Dark Age from a few weeks back.  I think I captured a lot of meta information (what type of game Dark Age is, how it relates to other games) but didn't really say much about what Dark Age is about.  So, without further adieu, here's "What Dark Age is about":

Setting

Dark Age is set on a back water world rich in natural resources.  Moreover, many cliche evil corporation like this planet because its secluded from prying eyes.  Military experiments, slavery, chemical weapons development... all sorts of fun stuff is happening on this otherwise unremarkable planet.

Then it all goes bad.

The galaxy experiences the equivalent of the 2008 stock market crash.  As a result, corporations quickly abandon this planet; doing a half-assed job of covering their tracks.  Since life is cheap, many workers are stuck in this back water as ships are filled to the brim with top brass, military secrets, etc etc.  Its in this lovely predicament that Dark Age takes place; in a literal "Dark Age" of a planet (named Samaria by the survivors).

Factions

The Forsaken - Human survivors who take refuge in the major metropolitan areas of Samaria.  Since the crash, survivors have literally re-discovered religion, as the would-be rulers of Samaria quickly find a little hope goes a long way.  With a structure centered around relgious authority and military might, the Prevailers (the heart of organized Christianity) on Samaria quickly gain control of most of the human population.

Unfortunately for the city-bound Prevailers, several warlords on the outskirts of civilization also lust for power.  Starting with a cynical move made by a man named Mark, warlords on the outskirts of society start proclaiming themselves literal reincarnations of biblical Saints.  This presents a problem for the Prevailers; however, they deftly use the Saints to fight to protect and expand their borders on Crusades.  Currently, only 6 Saints are known: John, Mark, Mary, Johann, and Luke.  Saint Matthew existed in times past; but was slain by the Skaard and replaced by Saint Mary.  Speaking of which...

The Skaard - Mutant cannibals inhabitating the desers of the east.  Formerly a group of humans within Forsaken society, the proto-Skaard (called the Baniss) were banished from Forsaken society as they did not adopt religion after "The Crash".

On finding an industrial facility in the wasteland, the survivors bunkered down but were quickly ravaged by the chemicals within the facility (previously a military base researching chemical weapons).  The survivors of these mutagens were fundamentally changed, but physically and mentally.

When Saint Johann was banished from Forsaken society due to his practice of Grafting (adding mechanical enhancements to living beings), he retreated to the desert and joined forces with the Baniss, officially forming the Skaard.

Several clans of Skaard exist, though only the Toxic and Blood Cults are available for play.  These cults have predilictions easy enough to determine by their names, so I won't waste time explaining further.

Dragyri - Aliens on Samaria to mine energy containing crystals.  Originally, the creatures now known as Dragyri were genetically engineered slaves used to mine crystals.  After the crash, the remaining "Leader" aliens were quickly overrun by their slaves and pressed into slavery themselves (lulz).  The new ruling Aliens (called Dragyri by the Forsaken due to their resemblence to biblical dragons) quickly organized their society around hunting an honorable duels (think "Predator culture" from Predator 2).

Dragyri background is currently under a significant overhaul due to the edition reboot, so we'll all find out more when Apocalypse is released.

The Brood - Genetically engineered soldiers in a very early stage of development.  Initial growth in foot soldiers was progressing well, though the "thinking" organism was getting the majority of developments work.  After "The Crash", the scientists involved intended to cart The Brain organism off-world.  Unfortunately, in their haste, they allowed The Brain to slip off their transport and remain on Samaria.

Initially, the brain organism tried tirelessly to improve her soldiers and find a way off world.  However, as the facility she was housed in quickly began to shut down, the brain organism decided to merge with its local environment in an attempt to kill itself.  Unfortunately, it survived but was driven insane in the process.  Now the "Brood Mother" creates abberations by crossing DNA of Samaria flora and fauna.  After a brief encounter with "The Creators" (Saint John's forces), the Brood Mother has decided that humans are weak and must be destroyed.  An admirable goal, really...

Outcasts - Bandits and miscreants who raid Forsaken facilities.  Basically, humans who aren't Forsaken or Skaard.

******

Without getting into specific mechanics, I hope that fleshes out Dark Age for some of you.  If you have any specific questions, hit me up in the comments.

TOP 5 - Top Five things GW could do to make WHFB sell better

Let's face it: WHFB 8th edition ain't perfect.  Nowhere close.  But, its a fun game, its the only game of its scale (28mm, large fantasy army battles) with its market penetration, and its got a great IP.  That said, its been losing market share for some time, playing 2nd fiddle to its cousin with 39,999 more warhammers and now to Warmachine.  How to stop this?  Here's five realistic things GW could do to get Fantasy back on track.

**********

5.) Fix 8th edition's magic phase.  Given GWs recent willingness to release FAQs, fix the big spells (Dwellers Below, Purple Sun) that have inadvertainly become problems.  Make miscasts deadlier. Fix Teclis and the Book of Hoeth.  Fix Slaan (i.e. - tweak the "Now you get my miscast" item).  These are massive game breakers at a competitive level and even someone who wants to have "fun" with lots of magic quickly realizes a single level 4 mage with the right wargear can break the game.

4.) Set realistic price goals.  The world economy isn't doing so hot right now.  Releasing a game with a $75 core rule book (or cheaper rulebook that comes in a $100 boxset), $37.25 army rulebooks, and $29 core troops that customers ought to want to purchase in blocks of 30+ isn't a smart idea.  Its losing you money, both anecdotally and statistically. 

If you want players to play at 3000+ points, give them a bone.  How about $200 army deals for all armies that include troops, a hero choice, a plastic elite option, and a big rare (Steamtank, Dragon, etc etc)?  Sell at a reasonably discount (e.g. - 25% off what you'd pay if you bought each box) and market it as an army entry point (which the Battalions are doing a poor job pretend to be).

Why Don't You Love Me, GW?

3.) Put some play support into the Specialist Games that compliment your IP.  Bloodbowl's got a reasonably popular video game that uses the same IP as Warhammer Fantasty.  Why aren't you releasing "Hobby Articles" highlighting how to play?  Don't put money into new sculpts; but pay a design for 2+ hours of work to make BB's Living Rulebook look modern.   Pimp some of this to the fan community.  On that note...

2.) Stop Sueing the Fan Community.  Go after recasters.  Go after companies that are stepping on your IP (Chapterhouse, etc).  Don't sue forums for using the name "Blood Bowl" in their title.  You want to protect your IP?  Then license them a fan kit with a list of what they can and can't do.

1.) Learn how to Market using the Web.  A dev blog that exercises almost no brand discipline is not having a web presence.  Letting us know whats in the pipe two months before you release it, followed by actual previews the day of pre-order isn't working.

Get a forum and control it appropriately (see Privateer Press' forum of an example of how to do this).  Interact with fans via the Web.  Control your brand message actively, rather than passively releasing it and letting warseer/dakka dakka run with it.


*********

SPAYZE MUHREENs will keep GW's doors open for a long time.  That said, Privateer and Mantic are really doing a number on their North American sales.  Moreover, GWs revamped all but 1 Space Marine line in the past 5 years...they're running out of easy wins.

What's it going to take to get GW to right their ship?  This, mayhaps?

I am Title Nineicus, Lord of The End Times!!!



A Winner Is You! - Duh, Winning Edition

Weclome to another installment of "A Winner Is You"; this blog's version of "Grinds My Gears".  You know what really grinds my gears...

People who view wargaming tournaments as a way to validate their egos, or worse, generate income.  Take this lulztastic example of "DERF DERF DERF, ME AM BEST" over on Dakka Dakka:

Hey folks!

I wanted to share a couple of pictures (shameless pride!) and inspire everyone to step up their game to enjoy the rewards!

1. The Secret to my Tournament Success!


2. Things I haven't figured out to do with yet:


I've won a lot of stuff at tournaments over the last two years. The picture is what is still in boxes that I haven't poked around with yet.

Not pictured here (because they aren't shrink-wrapped anymore)

1. $480 worth of store credit at several stores that I haven't cashed in yet.

2. 1x Demolisher, 5x razorbacks, 3x las/plas predators, 6 landspeeders

3. The blisters back there are Njal Stormcaller, Mad Dok, and Mephiston

4. All 3,000 points of my Dark Eldar (entirely free through tournament winnings)

5. Two battlewagons, 30 Lootas, Snikrot, three Ork trukks, and two more Stompas (one of which was too big in the box to fit in my luggage for the flight home from a GT)

6. 30 tactical marines, a captain, and 24 assault marines.

7. 15 Missile Launcher devastators, 6 lascannons, two multi-meltas, 5 autocannons

8. 3 other Space Marine Dreadnoughts.

I think that's about it. Most of my Orks were also tournament winnings, but I don't remember which I bought and which I won, and a good chunk of my Tau were tournament winnings as well, but I traded them out for my Necron Army.

So practice! Work on those skills! My Dark Eldar, Space Wolves, Blood Angels, half my Orks, and most of my Necrons were funded by playing. I've traded some of my winnings for things I need as well. Open your mind, think outside the box, and fund YOUR next army through tournament winnings.

And ENJOY yourself while doing it:
 

Insert golf calp here.  In fairness, sincerely, kudos on winning thousands of dollars worth of GW product.  That said...

First off, you should never, ever, under any circumstances be drinking the bilge marketed as Captain Morgan's Rum (though if you're grinding 40K tournaments to afford GW gaming, there's already something terminally wrong with you mentally).  Secondly, why on Earth are you drinking at 4:00 PM?

On, you're playing 40K.  Carry on then...

Having seen this locally (my roommate has paid for maybe 20% of his armies), it does bad, bad things to the tournament community.  Mostly because people get sick of paying money to play in an event only for it to go to "that guy".  You can harp on people to "step up their game, dude!" or "this could be you if you just ran different lists, man!"; but eventually, people just sick of playing you.

To say nothing of how you could be better investing all that time.

To quote one of the replies to his thread:

It's a nice stash of winnings, and absolutely fine to brag about it here. Where else are you going to get to brag?

Dash- 'Hey, how's it going?'

Woman at Bar- 'Um, fine.'

Dash- 'You know, I win a lot of toy soldier tournaments.'

Woman at Bar- 'Wow... what do you get for winning?'

Dash- 'Unopened boxes of toy soldiers.'

Woman at Bar- '...'

Dash- 'You should come see my dining room, the entire table is covered with unopened boxes of toy soldiers.'

Woman at Bar- 'I'm good.'

'Bout sums in up.

Wargaming: Yes, you can do it so hard you don't have to pay for it anymore.  That said, don't quit your day job.

Monday Game Reviews: Malifaux

Welcome to another Monday Game Review!  On today's plate: Malifaux.  Very interesting game for a number of reasons, notably its unique randomization mechanic (cards rather than dice) and its unique setting (Western-steampunk-horror-comedy... or "Baconpunk" as the Wyrd boys say!).

What's it all about?

Malifaux is a skirmish game based heavily upon 1800's Victorian aesthetic mixed with early 1900's western/"Stheampunk" influences.  Its a nice mix that may upset the history nerds out there, but flows well from "Oh, I get that pop culture reference" perspective.

Malifaux: Yeah, its kinda like this

The preface of the game is the world is run on magic, but our dimension is running out of it.  Then wizards/scientists discover a portal to another dimension where magic is stored in rocks called "Soulstones', which contain concentrated energy.  Settlers and would-be Soulstone Barons flock to the new dimension and start mining, only to the current residents of this new dimension less-than-gracious hosts.

The first thing you're apt to notice about Malifaux is there's no dice involved.  Randomization is instead achieved via a deck of cards.  When an attack/action is resolved between two models, both models compare their relevant statistics (e.g. - Ranged attack skill vs defense) and flip a card from the top of their decks.  The resulting numerical total determines if the attack was a success and the magnitude of it (which has the nice effect of cutting out the old "to hit/to wound" double flip).   Depending on the suit flipped, the result can also trigger additional effects (e.g. - flipping clubs may cause extra damage, if successful).  That's a bit of an over-simplification (its an involved, but tight mechanic) and its a nice breath of fresh air.

The Good

You see, in this world there's two kinds of people my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig...

The card mechanic, as noted above, is one of the main draws of Malifaux.  Its a nice change of pace and works well with the low model count of the armies involved.  Speaking of which, Malifaux typically involves 6-12 models per army (more for some armies which summon lots of models).  With the core rulebook costing $35, and a typically army running ~$100, you're looking at at an outlay of about $150 if you purchase all of the above plus a Malifaux card deck.  Expect to pay $200 maximum for a good sized army, both books, and a card deck.

Malifaux is a great game if you're looking to play with a small number of models that can do a large number of things.  Every model in your army can cast spells and generally can "combo" off one-another.  Since Malifaux is an alternating-activations based game, it lacks the "I win after this combo" feel of Warmachine, but strongly favors taking models that interact with other.

Also of note, the game strongly encourages you take models of the same theme with their respective Masters (similar to warcasters in Warmachine, though you don't auto lose if your Master dies).  Players who want a game that looks like the background on the table will really enjoy this facet of the game.  On that, many Masters can hire models outside their respective faction via special rules, giving the "factions" of Malifaux a much more fluid feel.

Finally, its notable that a (relatively) large number of females play this game.  If you're looking to get your girlfriend into a wargame, this is a safe place to start.  That said, if you're someone who's interested in the above statement, you probably lack the prerequisites.  Or, ya know, there's the alternative below...

Megatron says: "Decipticons, roll back!!!"

The Bad

Malifaux is decidedly a "thinking mans" game, almost to a fault.  Much like the first edition of Warmachine, Malifaux relies heavily on legalistic interruptions of its rules.  As such, FAQ rules decisions sometimes have game-breaking side effects.

Malifaux has struggled with this for roughly the entirety of its first year of existence and recently released Revised Rules have greatly helped this problem (for the first book).  Unfortunately, the first expansion is having similar problems to the core book and will probably require multiple pages of errata to get the game back in good place (for example, Alp bombs with The Dreamer and the Haemlin unlimited (0) action tricks).

Sorry Leviticus Cat, but yes, yes you are...

Another thing to note: As mentioned above, Malifaux strongly encourages you to take models "in theme" with a specific Master.  The downside of this is that there are very few core "faction" models that play well across a number of Masters (Arcanists, Outcasts, and the Guild suffer to this the most).  While its not an intrinsically bad thing, it does mean you'll be spending a lot more than you would in say, Warmachine, switching teams within a faction.  As always, YMMV.

Final Thoughts

Malifaux's a fun game but requires a lot of mental gymnastics to play at a competitive level.  If you enjoy the aesthetic and don't mind putting a little mental flexing, its a great game with some gorgeous models.  Go check out Wyrd's page if this sounds interesting to you!

I R PAINTR - Liquid Silver by Vallejo pt. 1

Went to a local hobby store today and got a product called "Liquid Silver" by Vallejo.  Its an alcohol based silver paint that deposits white metallic flecks of metal on a surface, giving it a chrome shine.  Can't mix it with water, but hey, it sure beats working with oils/toluene for true metallics.


Trying it out tonight to see if it delivers.  Pics to come shortly!

Top 5 - Jerky Things I can't wait to do at International Steampunk Festival

 

I don't think its any secret, but I'm a complete jerk and I hate Steampunk.  Don't get me wrong, fabrication art is really cool, but when you slap goggles on anything and suddenly its "Stheampunk" and magically hip, sorry, I'm probably going to hate it. 

 

 

Look at this f$#%# hipster

 

See this guy?  This is Jules Verne.  He wrote a lot of fiction that's decidedly Steampunk (e.g. - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea).  He would probably choke you for housing your iPod in a pocket watch.  You know why?  Because he was a big fan of technology.  You've got a phonograph and every wax record in existence in your pocket, and you'd like to pretend that you're totally too cool for that.  If Vernes ever met you, he'd probably probably kick you in the junk.   Scratch that, he'd get you to give him the cure for Polio, then kick you in the junk.

 

Plus, its tired.  The little suburban town I live in is hosting International Steampunk City.  You know when a suburb is hosting an International Day of anything, its not chic anymore.

Mr. Snugglekins was so tragically hip

 

Seriously though: Goths who discover brown, love zee goggles, and expouse neo-Luddite nonsense are the worst.  On that note, here's the Top 5 Jerky Things I can't wait to do at International Steampunk Day.

*******

 

5.) Ask people about "Zee Goggles" and their functionality.  As in, what "zey do" and whether or not it is "nussing".


4.) Ask someone why they are so many fans of the movie Wild, Wild West out and about today?  Also, ask if they would, in fact, like to get jiggy with it.


3.) Wear my "Type O Negative - Everything Dies, even Peter Steele" shirt.  Count the number of people who scoff.


2.) List the annoying college kids' apartment down the street as a hot spot for cos-players on Craigslist.


1.) Walk down Moody St. with popcorn.  Watch local flavor and Stheampunks interact.  Lulz ensue.

 

**********

 

Yes, this is a joke.  No, I'm not going to probably do any of the above (accept 1 and 5).  Yes, I dislike Steampunk, but mostly because its tired and I don't get subcultures whose only unifying thread is dressing funny and old fiction.

Clearly, a miniskirt and corset are appropriate work attire for the bowels of steam engine.  But at least they didn't forget their safety goggles! OSHA were so strict 110 years before they were enacted.